I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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