Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
