i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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