I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
