Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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