remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
