The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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