shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
