Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
