Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
