I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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