Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
