Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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