If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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