Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
