I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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