Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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