You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
