before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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