jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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