Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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