We won't sleep together?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
