It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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