If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
