It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
