6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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