i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
