whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You can't motorboat a personality
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
