i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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