I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
