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It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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