So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
