He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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