Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
