Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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