I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
