thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
