His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
