FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
