To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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