did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
