I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
