Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
