Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
