you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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