I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
