i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
