just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
