from now on my penis is your penis
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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