I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
